| I have no friends anymore. Things are just going to continue to get worse. I am always going to be a depressed, fat, unsatisfied person. I don't understand why God put me on this Earth. This is Hell. |
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| When I put effort into something I care about, I give it 110%. I may not give a shit about school or myself, but when it comes to other people, I will always put them and their happiness first. I would've done anything for him, even though I wasn't even positive I wanted to be in the relationship. Once again, I am the one who gets screwed over. I'm a good person. I may not be a size zero or the hottest girl in the world, but I treated him so well. And what did he do? Told me I was fat, took a lot from me, and rubbed his relationship with his ex in front of my face. I hate that I'm bitter and that I'm letting this effect me. But...I have always obsessed about my weight and had no idea it could be even more heightened until now. It is totally consuming my life. He was my boyfriend...and I wasn't good enough. I am fat. I will never be good enough. And he hurt me so bad. And he doesn't even give a shit. HE TOOK SO MUCH. It's not fair.
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| My boyfriend doesn't give a crap about me. He is settling for me obviously, because he never treats me special. I can't break up with him though. Help
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| I don't know who I am anymore. I feel like I don't have any friends. And I feel like I'm kidding myself if I think George actually cares about me the way I care about him. So I feel stuck. And I don't know what I truly want or feel. I'm just...lost...completely.
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| So I know that I'm always the pessimist...but I like to think I'm realistic. George is here and has been since Saturday and I am soooooo happy. I just can't stop smiling. But then I started thinking. What happens when he realizes he could do better than me? What happens when he gets bored? What if his feelings change again just like they did last time? I think the fact that we broke up already and got back together is making me extremely paranoid. That is all I can think about now and don't know how I'm going to slap a smile on my face for his last day here. I don't want to screw anything up.  |
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